Well, I now know what it is to lose someone and work through the stages of grieving and understand the process and think you are fine .... The mind understands all this. But then you let yourself feel that you are never going to see this man again and that is unbearable. And you want to just think about , not feel, the details of the loss, the incredible loss. But you can't. You realize you have to move through it to get by it. And suddenly a book 'falls off' the shelf' in the library and 'speaks' to the situation, the needs, to the fears, to the hopes. And you actually 'hear' what friends have been advising.
Then, one morning, you wake up and catch sight of the wheel and you get up and first thing you know you are sitting and spinning. And the wheel and the body work together. And the polyester batting turns into the yarn, the thick and the thin, the long and the short. It reminds me of a time when he was still alive. It reassures me that ..... well, I don't know what it reassures me of. But I will.