Total focus child rearing produces watched children. Watched children have a handicap to overcome.
There is a self-consciousness that pervades both their internal and external life. The latter is apparent in a certain demeanor of awareness that hints at guardedness, not curiosity or appreciation. The eyes are too ‘on call’, the body tense. The ability to participate is diminished. Criticism takes precedence over approval, on both the outer and inner level.
The reasons for totally focusing on a child vary from a more than average investment in reproduction to major unresolved problems in the parent(s) to special needs.
Awareness of the situation is the first step in alleviating the negative aspects of the issue, of using the increased sensitivity for a positive lifestyle.
They pique awareness, double days, likely the 'reason' for their existence. 'Reason' in the most effective sense of being grouped with body and spirit as well as mind.
Had a double day yesterday.
Started out with a phrase being repeated on the radio, no explanation, just a complete repeat.
Second nudge was the walking by for a second time within ten minutes of a regular passerby, I assume on his way to work, as I had my usual tea and bagel on the patio of a neighbourhood deli. He'd gotten on a bus and passed me thusly. Then, a few minutes later, he was walking by exactly as he had first time. Must have gotten off at a stop and gone back home for something forgotten and then started his day again.
Third was catching sight of a man I have not seen in years who bears a most unusual name. A day earlier I had learned that a friend had named her baby this name.
Fourth was having a lady at my knitting Guild suddenly pull a doll from her basket with the intention of asking if anyone had any doll clothes patterns. The doll is most unusual with a real expression of emotion on its face. A "hey!" A "just a minute, here!" I'd never seen anything like this before and had 'chanced' on the exact same doll at a sale a week or so earlier, it spoke to me, I had to have it. And its 'double' had leaped out of a basket
After these I became more alert to further 'doubles' but they are not something you look for, they are the sort of things that happen and present to awareness. A subtle but important difference. And the acceptance that the point to be taken is simply to be aware, to 'check in' as often as possible. To inhabit the body.